Oh my god, I love this stupid movie!

Yes,  I gave in to the hype and went to see Titanic in 3D this weekend.  Over margaritas on Friday night my friend and I decided to see it as a joke, but I was pretty much sucked in from the moment Leo and his buddy Fabrizio win their tickets in a “lucky” game of poker.  (Yes, James Cameron, the air is heavy with irony.  We get it.)

So many awesomely terrible moments — Leo teaching  Kate how to hocker; wisecracks about Picasso never amounting to anything; the repeated references to the “unsinkable” ship; our two leads having to evade Billy Zane’s gunshots in the midst of trying to survive the major maritime disaster of the 20th century; Bill Paxton and his frumpy, douchey sidekick; the old lady throwing the zillion dollar necklace into the ocean for no clear reason; and, of course, Leo who coached Kate through every harrowing moment — running, swimming, knocking down emergency doors, riding the deckrail straight into the water —  making one, just one!, half-hearted attempt to climb aboard the oak door she floated to safety on.  So, he’d already had it with her, or what?

But, goddman if it isn’t entertaining!  I will watch that ship sink any time of day or night.  Just find me a screen and I’ll clear three hours faster than you can say Celine et Rene.  I love to think about just what these people went through to make this movie happen.  Extras flailing in water and dropping from the deck when the ship is perpendicular to the water, knowing that Kate and Leo’s lips are blue not because of attentive make-up artists but because, sadistically, that water they used on set wasn’t heated, Cameron building the ship to 90% scale (I mean, who does that?!)  As smart-assy as I am about it, it is a nailbiter — in spite of the fact that you know what’s coming.  I guess it’s the fact that it really happened (well, not the cheesy love story, but you know…)  I am grateful that James Cameron is a crazed, psycho perfectionist who re-created the world of this ship so thoroughly that we can see just what it looked like and exactly how it went down (literally and figuratively) and help us to imagine so closely what the people who suffered through it experienced.

And, the 3D is amazing!  And, I am not a fan of 3D.  I guess the action sequences were great, but what I really dug was seeing the intricate details of every wine glass and piece of flatware on the tables in the dining room.  Not to mention the ridiculously oversized plumes on the ladies’ hats that looked like they could poke your eye out with a nod of the head.